Laughter - The best Medine.

9th November 2008, Sunday

I woke up about 9am, too early.. went back to sleep.
I woke up about 12pm, too early.. went back to sleep.
I woke up about 2pm, too early.. went back to sleep.
It's 4.12pm. Couldn't go back to sleep anymore.

I understand that everyone seems to think I'm the crazy girl who can't stop laughing.
The girl who cracks the most bodoh jokes and makes everyone laugh.
Me and Liaw has an inside joke about being immortal if laughter is really the best medicine.
Some chinese people say that everytime you laugh, you prolong your life for 3 minutes.
If thats true, hey people! I've just found the fountain of youth!
I Laugh for no apparent reason. hehehe

Today, something seems weird, very out of place.

Normally I find myself waking up to dread about going to work,
yet feeling happy that I have to go to work.
If I don't need to go to work,
I find myself staring at the ceiling of my bedroom,
the tv blaring the title menu of whichever Simpsons DVD I've put in the night before,
my mind blank... a white slate.
If Jon's around, we'd definitely be thinking duck rice...mmmmm duck riceeeeee... ;P~
I'd probably not move, till Liaw calls me and suggests that we do something
which I normally just agree to, be it makan, or teman her to go pay her DIGI phone bill..
BTW Liaw uses DIGI like gila kaninia... her bill comes up to about 5-6 hundred bucks a month.
Thats like my car installment x 3 weh...
I once asked her, whether she having another girlfriend in another country, which she said she wishes so too.. haha typical Liaw.

Today..
It was different.
I wanted to go online!
To see if my ONLY reader posted any comments on my early morning typing spree.
Which she did~hahahahaha see I'm doing it again..
Anyway.. Thank You.

It's as if she reignited something I once had but lost..

It made me remember..

Things I totally forgot from the past...

of How I wanted to be a writer when I was 12.
I wanted to be the Enid Blyton for the future kids.
I also wanted to scare them senseless haahahahahah for I only loved writing horror.
Memories of the short stories I used to print out for me friends to read.
I'd color the front pages myself and staple bind it in the middle.
With small illustrations inside of ghouls, zombies, vampires and shit.
hehe..

of How I wanted to be a vet when I was 13.
My taman had a huge padang before they built houses on it.
My baby Ginger(every dog in seremban garden was my baby) had a litter of puppies.
Some flies laid some eggs, yada yada u know the rest about them maggots.
There's this Dr. Ee in my taman that goes jogging every evening about 5.
I raced to meet him and tried to convince him to help the puppies.
All he said was "get your parents to send them to my clinic..." and continued jogging.
BASTARD!
Everyone who knows my mum knows the answer is "HELL NO!"
....
I watched the puppies go one by one...

Its reminded me of things I always wanted to do,
things I had no chance of ever doing even if I wanted to..
Family finances played a big part at that time...

But most of all..
But MOST OF ALL~ I LIKE DA WAY YOU MOVEEEEEEEEEEE!!! hahahahah sorry I heard this song yesterday and I can't get it outta my head...
But most of all..
It gave me new meaning to life.
Might not really make sense to you,
but it has broken the spell that was over me for god knows how long.

I feel like a different person altogether.

I know I'm not a great writer.
I've stopped reading for...gosh.. even I can't remember since when.
The only reading I do now comes in the form of emails and menus.
My vocab sux ass, grammars down the drain.
My punctuation makes no sense at all!!! hahahaha
by now you should be saying "where is she going with this?? why so long winded one?"
As a friend i think i should put up the warning below at the header of this blog.

Warning : This blog should only be read when you're extremely BOSAN, stuck in the office, everyone on msn is labeled BUSY, or when in ones toilet and theres really really nothing else better to do but go No. 2.

My life is going to change.
This is the first weekend where I've not gone back to Seremban.
Yes! and if you only knew I'm not working either! HAHAHA
Its going to be about ME!
All my life its about you! you! and you!
I can't be trying to be perfect in your eyes forever!
I want to have a life of my own too!
I want to fall down and stand up on my own!
STOP THROWING ALL YOUR BURDEN ON ME!
I'm only fucking 26 and already I'm acting like a an old sap!
Leave me alone! I need my life back!
Just because you have your own problems!
Doesn't make it my responsibility to make your wrongs seem right!

Sigh... now the courage to actually say it in your face...
which I don't think I'll ever find... being the spineless me.
I hate you..
but unfortunately I love you even more...

I will change my life.. I will make my own fate.
I swear it!

Just one step at a time..