Life's Like That

9th November 2008, 5.09am

Wa crazy ah?? 5am?? Yup you guessed it. Can't Sleep...
The fact that i went out clubbing yesterday, and again today doesn't help. No.. not one bit.
I don't really enjoy clubbing as I once did yesterday but I still do it.
Hmmm... I wonder...

Why do I still go out clubbing when the main attraction is no longer the crowd and music,
but the sleek, sexy, hard! bottle of cheap liquor?
(I know its not cheap la, a bottle in a club comes to 2-3 hundred++ bucks when you can get it in Giant for less than half the price.)

Back then, when someone says "Lets go clubbing!" the first thing that comes out of your mouth is "Who's going?" (Hi Debs! Yes you do it too! hahaha)
Today its "How much is the bottle?"
and NO! I am no longer an alcoholic!

OMG I have to add this story in :
I was supposed to stay in Liaw's place one night.
We did the norm, take out contact lens, cuci muka, pakai baju tidur, started cracking jokes about the night we just had, then slowly drift off to sleep.
All of a sudden, I heard Liaws' voice, shouting at me.. (i think she was quite pissed off as her tone was quite garang)

8am
Liaw: "WHAT THE FUCK U DOING IN MY BROTHERS ROOM??!!!??"
I opened my eyes, and huh?!?!?!?!?! I was sleeping on the floor of her brothers room!!
what tah fuck!?!!??!?!
Toy : "I don't know?!? How did I get here??"
Liaw: "YOU ASK ME I ASK WHO!!!"
as she dragged me back to her room.
Liaw: "Lucky you are sleeping on the floor and my parents not in! Or not I think we have to
change from good friend to sister-in-law la liao!!! crazy bitch!"
i have no idea how i got there.. all i know is, i hope i was sleep walking! and i pray i didn't do anything
else! hahahahaha..

k k.. Back to the topic..
So seriously, why?
Is it just me trying to stay inside the "happening" circle, trying to remain cool, refusing to let go of the past?
Or is it me denying the fact that I am a 26 year old who doesn't really have a life besides her job? (Yea I'm sorta married to my job.. I just can't help it.. I love what I do.. Though I may bitch about it everyday.. )
I've just lost my mood to go for movies, shopping, jalan jalan cari makan, planning holidays.
Whats happened to me?
I used to live up to my name on a daily basis!
Now?
My life is mainly work, make more money, work, go home and log on to facebooks' pet society or texas hold'em poker..
Kochai moving in with me during the weekdays has added a little colour to my once greyscaled life.
I think thats why I love him to bits, irritating as he may be...
hahahah i think it runs in the family la.. as I love to irritate Debs so much too...

The only ray of sunshine right now in my life is LALA Liaw.
Liaw's my colleague, my college mate, my partner in crime (both taking fake mc), my clubbing kaki, my karaoke buddy, my lunch date, and, the most important fact of all... my best friend.
I don't think she knows it, but i tend to lean on her for support in almost every aspect of my life.
It helps that shes a PLU and she doesn't share the normal relationship schedule.
That way I get to take up a lot more of her time.
It also helps that XMM(Liaw's gf) has a curfew hahahahaha.

Ishh.. I always stray far away from what I intend to write.
So anyway, Jon's in Shenzhen right now, and I'm all alone at home, in the middle of the night, sittin in the living room wide awake. And it gets you thinking.. what would my life be, if Liaw wasn't in the picture? What would I do then? My life is basically work and coming back home to the Simpsons. I have lost all joy there is in the life of a 20+ year old. I feel like I'm 60. (Blek my mums 60 and I bet she lives a far more interesting life.)
Crap! I've totally forgotten the point of my story and why I'm rambling on.

I guess..
What I'm trying to say is.. I still go out clubbing because...
It makes me feel like...
I'm still alive.
I guess..